Who had mysteriously appearing and disappearing monoliths on their oddities of 2020 Bingo card?
I suspect that the response of 98% of the people who read that sentence is, “What in the world is a monolith?”
The other 2% respond simply by saying “Aliens!” in a tone recognized instantly by fans of the History Channel’s a little bit off the historical path popular series “Ancient Aliens.”
With a year that started with mysterious drones migrating across Nebraska, why wouldn’t we end the year with monoliths popping up (and promptly disappearing) around the world?
If the Earth is the plaything of some alien species with the attention span of the average middle schooler, it wouldn’t shock me at this point after this year.
To clear things up for the 98%, the ancient text known as the dictionary defines a monolith as “a large single upright block of stone, especially one shaped into or serving as a pillar or monument.”
The most famous one is Stonehenge. The faux famous one is Carhenge.
But these aren’t something that you expect to pop up like some holiday gift shop.
However, since it is 2020, on Nov. 18 a monolith was spotted by a helicopter crew flying over the desert in eastern Utah.
Even this year, that’s a surprising find, unlike the couple of masks I discovered while raking my leaves this fall (I prefer the years when I find some cash mixed in my tree sheddings).
This 11-foot tall metal monolith drew crowds because how better to social distance than go stare at an 11-foot tall metal monolith in the desert?
But shortly after it appeared, the monolith disappeared under the moonlight.
According to a Colorado photographer, four men arrived, pushed over the monolith, loaded it in a wheelbarrow and hauled it away.
“Their motivation was apparently to prevent further despoilment of the area by the crowds who had made the trek to the monolith since its coordinates were reported early last week,” according to the Associated Press.
But we all know this has to be the work of the men in black because ... aliens!
And then another monolith appeared and disappeared in the mountains of Romania.
A local reporter told Reuters, “An unidentified person, apparently a bad local welder, made it. ... Now all that remains is just a small hole covered by rocky soil.”
The “bad local welder” comment makes me suspect that the appearance of this monolith isn’t the work of aliens, however the disappearance…
And now a reportedly slightly wobbly 10-foot tall monolith has been spotted on top of a mountain in California.
Sure, this could all be the work of very bored humans. Or it could be aliens!
One thing that 2020 has taught me is that you can come up with any conspiracy theory and there is someone out there who would buy into it.
Anybody else find it less than a coincidence that these monoliths are disappearing just when the McRib is reappearing?
I’m surprised that no one — that I am aware of after a quick Google search — has tied these monoliths into the recent presidential election.
Are we positive that these monoliths don’t contain the 154,000 ballots that would have allowed Donald Trump to win Michigan?
The most important thing about being a high-quality conspiracy theory generator is to make sure that things aren’t easily disproved.
When QAnon promises to reveal shocking news soon, since “soon” is impossible to find on a calendar, it’s easy to retain the believers.
Those who claim that the election was a big sting to prove a voting fraud conspiracy and that Trump will be sworn in on Jan. 20 instead of Joe Biden have a clock slowly ticking down upon their credibility.
As for the monoliths, I hope they keep popping up and disappearing with no explanation.
It’s a nice temporary diversion from the realities that w are still struggling with, and until it is proven otherwise, I know that these monoliths are the work of...aliens!
Dale Miller is a sports writer for the Independent. Once a week he wanders away from the sports department to offer his take on non-sports related topics. Email him at email@example.com